A Simple Shift
Unholy attitude
It was years ago, after I had my first child, that our Father convicted me of sin and showed me an aspect of my rotten attitude. What I saw was really abhorrent to me. I had developed a sin habit of griping my way through a day. It didn’t matter what the day held for me, I could find a way to complain and criticize, harp and huff, fram and slam my way through it. It was terrible! Even more, I saw that I would be modeling this type of nasty behavior for my child, and so I was extremely motivated to change. In what I saw as a normal way of reacting, my Father showed me the attitude and posture of my heart. It was a hard thing to face, and yet, my Father gave me provision for facing it…His Son, Jesus Christ. There is no experience in my life meant for me to go through alone. My experiences are meant to drive me further into the Life of Christ. And this unholy attitude that was exposed in me did exactly that: it showed me my need, and drove me into the arms of Jesus.

Words matter
When I faced myself in this revelation, I began to see that I viewed everything through the lens of my comfort and convenience. I thought (deep, deep down) that the universe should align for my ease and satisfaction. Boy, what a selfish and conceited way to think! Life is not meant to be lived on that level when you have exchanged your life for Another’s. And our Father used me having a child as a catalyst to change and begin to look out for others. The Spirit began untangling my sin habit by showing me the words I used to get through my day, and I discovered that I used the word ‘chore’ frequently. And when I heard myself say ‘chore’, heavy, awful feelings grew in my soul. It became a chore to do chores. Now, I will admit, I love words, and very few words are neutral in connotation to me. While you may have no negative connotation associated with the word ‘chore’, you may feel that Mondays are cursed, Fridays are blessed and Sundays are for naps. I think we all create connotations in our lives, and mine are frequently associated with words. (I won’t make this a therapy post, but I am sure the word ‘chore’ is connected to my childhood. I had a privileged and blessed childhood, and chores were part of it. Every Saturday.) The solution to the ‘chore’ dilemma was simple for me. I changed that word to ‘task’. Again, words matter to me, and ‘task’ was much less negative.

Task oriented
As I write this, I am chuckling to myself. Really, I am getting ready to roar with laughter. I have a very task-oriented personality when left alone. Our Father has lovingly coaxed, forgiven sin associated with this trait and transformed me over time. When I am walking in my way, I love to make lists, and then work my way through them. My laughter comes from the realization that tasks would be a type of love language in my soul. And my Father knew that way back then. While some things benefitted from the name change from chore to task, other things were still frustrating and induced wild anger and complaining in me. The grocery store was one place I consistently found myself in knots. I went in with a list, and it seemed that I was always getting back in my car having forgotten something from the list. What was my deal? Why couldn’t the list, my brain, and that store cooperate to offer me ease and convenience of everything I needed at once? Oh, see how stubborn my self can be. My Father called to me gently. Once again, confronted with not getting my way, my Father showed me an even more sinister attitude hidden in the recesses of my soul. This attitude was hate. Every person in the store was a potential interruption, a problem to be solved, a hindrance. In my mind, my task was supreme, I was queen, and people would not cooperate and so I blamed them for my incomplete task. Listen, precious reader, hate in our hearts is the equivalent of murder. And before you dismiss those words, sit with them for a moment.
My Savior said there were 2 great commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself. What was I accomplishing as long as I focused on my tasks? And what if I made these commandments to be tasks? Oh, how great the Father’s love for us. He made provision and answered these questions in His Son, my Savior. At that time, He offered to change the entire focus of the grocery store, errands and tasks in general. These tasks became openings for appointments. No longer task oriented around the list or the things, but I was on the look out for people who were appointed for me to meet. Another opportunity for my life to take on the quality of Another. When I read about His life, He accomplished so much and His purpose was to save and minister to people. He involved Himself with people. He did this perfectly, and pointed back to His Father, our Father. He only did what the Father wanted Him to do. Thinking on the life of my Savior, I had so much to learn, and I still do.

His glory
After this change, I could see more clearly. There were people everywhere. Some I knew, and others were strangers. However, all of them held potential. Do you realize, precious reader, how we all carry something? And our Father made sure I saw outside my self. This happened in my home, where the daily tasks of keeping house involved interruptions by neighbors and even family members within my own household. Seeing others at the grocery store, the gas station, restaurants, construction sites became a way of looking for the appointments My Father made for me. This continues today. I had a friend that shared her prayer to our Father, “Lord, make my appointments and help me to keep them.” What a simple thought. With my kids in tow, this has turned into a present blessing for us when we get back to the car and realize we have forgotten items. We can return to the store with laughter and another chance for an appointment, or head home knowing the item could wait. Missing from our list is the anger, frustration and complaining of yesteryear. I am thankful that all those many years ago, my Father loved me so much that He saw my need and addressed my attitude. There have been instances when I am reminded by others of when our Father made an appointment for us. Sometimes I don’t even remember the details, but what warmth floods my soul when I know my Father is faithful. Faithful to use every bit of my life for His glory.