Allow yourself to be gathered in
Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to attend and serve at a couple of retreats for women. At the time, I was witnessing the Lord do some tremendous rearranging in my life, and a major lesson He was reteaching me was to simply listen to His voice and obey. Along those lines, He placed me in a position where I was allowed to serve the women and teachers who attended these retreats. The typical retreat at this location begins late on Friday afternoon, and ends mid-afternoon on Sunday. There are usually a total of 5 meals to be prepped and served, along with seeing to the needs of those who attend, which can vary in number from 8 to 14. We meet in a cabin that has been dedicated to God’s work, and we are never disappointed by how He chooses to meet us there. I went with an attitude of humility and service, not sure what to expect, yet fully knowing He had placed me exactly where He wanted me.
His story
I enjoy reading, and have become accustomed to stories having a definitive beginning and end. These become books, and are nicely compartmentalized on my shelves. I guess I had lazily begun thinking of my life the same way, except portions of my life had become separate books, instead of chapters within the one book-story of my life. When I go back now to think through an event, I am amazed at how interconnected that event is with the rest of my life, and also the lives of others. Amazingly, God has been working from the very beginning of time, all the way through history, just to work in my life now. The seemingly random events from my childhood, the circumstances of 10 years ago, and situations from last week are all parts of the story that is my life, and God is using it all, directing it all, redeeming it all. So when I start this article like it was the retreat, or the event, that did the changing in me, what I really mean is that this is when I found out some of what God had been doing all along in my life. This was a revelation point, a touchstone; not the entire work.
I have been a part of many women’s retreats. They are all very unique to the participants, the weekend, the theme and the setting. Some retreats can feel quite rowdy, the laughing and talking and staying up to all hours is simply the atmosphere of the Work. Some are more subdued; you can see the women walk in tired, burdened and ready to give up. I’m not sure why there are such stark differences, I think the point is to always trust that our Father is up to something good, and He can work regardless of personalities, atmospheres, teachings, expectations or settings. There is a hidden and special work our Father is completing in, for, and with each of His children, and He is teaching me to dial in there, and simply wait and listen for Him. When I obey Him, and dive under the temporary surface things, it’s like the atmosphere around me is a rushing river, and I’m a rock right in the middle of it. The rock is submerged, immovable, but aware of all that is going on around. My spirit recognizes this, and yet my body will sometimes still react to the river. Usually this reaction comes in the form of a headache.
Headaches and women’s retreats go together for me like peanut butter and jelly. Sadly, I have just come to expect a headache when I attend a retreat. Lack of sleep, different foods, spiritual warfare and being around so many different people are a combination my weak body does not handle well. At times, I need to just accept this as reality, and push through; this suffering is simply something to bear while working with the Lord. At the second retreat this spring, we had a boisterous and night-loving group. In a small space, voices carry and sleep is difficult. I had already laid down, and was hoping to forego the headache that was already lurking around the edges of my skull. I began praying, and asked the Lord to give me sleep, and keep the headache away. Then, I heard Him, “Let yourself be gathered in.” The teaching that evening had been on some of the characteristics of our Father as All-Sufficient. The teacher had highlighted the all-encompassing ‘Otherness’ of the Lord. Specifically, it was about God healing the places in our souls where we carried wounds from our earthly mothers or fathers. This made sense to me in the way that God is God and He is in His Own Category. He made us and while we are made in His image, we are not Him and He is not us. He is His Own. There is imagery in the Bible of God as a mother-hen. He is One who gathers His chicks under His wings, and weeps when they won’t comply. When I heard Him speak to me that night, and thought of being gathered in, I pulled the blanket up over my head. Was this His wing; His covering? Let me tell you, with the physical action of pulling that blanket up, all noise evaporated. There I was in the same space, but with a cloud of silence hanging over me. I was immediately asleep, surrounded by the comfort of knowing He was there with me, covering me with His wings.
The next morning, I awoke early without an alarm, and without a headache. My Father gently showed me how He had made me, delighted in me, and how He also made provision for me. This is the grand lesson: He is the Answer to everything. This Answer is waiting, available and real in Christ. I have heard this many times in my life, and I have probably said it a good many times, too. However, in our spiritual journey, we must have revelation; a new manifestation or knowledge of what we already have. It’s not something ‘new’, it is simply that my understanding has aligned God’s word and my experience into one harmonious, unified truth, thus becoming wisdom. Similar to an excavation; the discovery is of something that has already been there. Uncovering that ‘hidden’ truth or reality is the revelation.
Your choice
My question to you is this: Will you allow yourself to be gathered in? Maybe the noise is coming from your soul or the circumstances in which you find yourself. Maybe you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Maybe you feel that it all depends on you. I gently beckon you to a reality check. Lay it all down. Put all these cares at the feet of Jesus and climb under His waiting wing. He desires to gather in His children, to grant them peace, refuge, stillness and rest. He is not only God of these things, He is these things. Ask Him for a revelation of His love for you. Ask Him to reveal to your spirit the things you already have, but haven’t yet realized. He wants to amaze you, meet you and gather you in. An illustration for this ‘gathering in’ was given at the first of the two retreats. The teacher was recounting her experience revelation with the Lord through working a puzzle. She had been asked by Him to take a thousand tiny pieces and assemble them together. As she was working through this physical, literal puzzle, her Father showed her the thousands of figurative pieces of her own life that she was struggling to manage and hold on to. She showed us the futility of her plight by picking up pieces of this puzzle and trying to hold them in her arms. Pieces were falling everywhere, and she was making a mess of things. She was losing pieces as she tried to pick up more. Our Father showed her she needed to release all the pieces to Him, for He is the One to assemble the masterpiece, and He needs all the pieces. It’s His work and delight to put them together, making the picture He already sees and knows. We see dimly and yet, we’re already known.
This way of living is not nearly as neat as a row of books on a shelf. In fact, it may feel like a messy rough draft that is constantly being shuffled and edited. However, to trust my pieces, my pages, my revisions to Him is a win/win adventure. My soul may feel as if there is risk involved in trusting Him, but nothing will ever slip from His grip. He forgets nothing, loses nothing, lacks nothing. He sees the finished product, when all you see is a disconnected mess. He wants to reveal His all-sufficient assurances to you, and place you in the greatest story ever told: Jesus. All of His promises are true, and they are all Yes and Amen in Christ. My precious reader, allow yourself to be gathered in.