He speaks

There are days I just have to laugh at myself and with myself, and then just start all over again. I’ve had several days like that in the past month or so, and there has been incredible grace to meet me. Sometimes I laugh instead of cry, and other times, I’m caught up like a child with her giggle box turned over. It’s been the giggle box laughing that I have experienced lately, and in those moments after, where I’m gasping for breath and wondering when the next fit of laughter will come, I hear Him.

There are times He chooses to use words, and other times, He doesn’t. He captures my imagination, and shows me His love. He has shown me evidence of His listening ear, proof that He sees me. Lately, I have been watching the birds around my yard, amazed that He knows them all and sees them all. How precious and plentiful are His thoughts toward me. After one of my laughing fits, He showed me a marvelous bird, and whispered His love for me. I had pulled into the driveway, and was almost in the garage, and there was a bright orange bird perched on a limb in the backyard. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust and then to register what I was seeing. Orange is my favorite color, a color that usually causes me a feeling of general well-being, and it was a bird! The Discerner and The Adapter were with me, so I had witnesses that I wasn’t losing my mind. It flew away after we tried taking pictures. I was fascinated, but waited until the house had quieted that night to look up what type of bird that could be.

A Baltimore Oriole. He’s likely here for mating season. And he has a beautiful song. I have heard him more than I’ve seen him, and yet, that seems appropriate. This bird has become a symbol, an illustration of sorts. He has beckoned me to the porch with binoculars; caused me to pause and peer into the trees. He has flitted around the corners of my vision, but I know he’s there. He has sung his song over and over, then moved to another tree to start again. If I concentrate too hard, it’s like he disappears. This bird has been a gift while I am in this season of learning with my Father. There is no way I’ve been abandoned or forsaken. He hears my sighs and bottles up my tears. And when there is laughter, He meets me there in the best possible way. Every single time.

I thank Him for the gift of laughter. It was years ago that I realized it had slipped from my daily life. Sometimes the hard edge of life can do that to us. I think I had mistaken cynicism for wisdom and seriousness for passion. When I’m left to myself, I can become confused and enamored with my own thoughts. I seem to forget that He has called me with a calling that is better than anything in this temporary realm. And this year, He placed me at exactly the right place, with exactly the right people, and He returned my laughter. Now, when I laugh, I can hear praise and thanksgiving mixed in.

My precious reader, do you hear Him speak to you? Do you know that He knows the desires of your heart, and that His very best for you is what is happening right now? That may sting a little bit, but when I look ahead to His promises and know what the end result is, I lean into His easy yoke, relax my grip and calm my soul. He has said I am of more value than the sparrow, and so I will choose to place my trust in Him again. Some more. He is faithful and trustworthy, and He can not fail.

As I’m writing this, I sense the theme He has been working with me. I feel like I’ve repeated myself, and maybe I have. I believe it’s necessary. If we are His children, and we could be certain of our standing with our Father, wouldn’t life simply have to be different? This is the broad place He has set me in. He has rescued me because He delights in me, and everywhere I turn, I sense His boundless grace. Grace upon endless grace. He has taken great delight in me as I delight in Him. Many nights, I have gone to sleep while contemplating how completely loved I am, and the beautiful knowledge that I belong.

I encourage you to tell Him your desires. Reach down deep, and find the desire you buried when life took a different path. Become aware of the desire that flits at the edge of your vision, asking to be heard and felt. Confess the desire that seems out of reach, too risky or difficult. Then, watch and wait with expectancy to hear how He speaks. Because I know He will. He will tune your heart to His and He will speak.