Invitation to a walk

It was a year ago this month. I had lunch with a friend, and as we were in the parking lot saying our goodbyes, I noticed she was downcast. I asked if she had ever read a particular book. She told me no, but then asked me why I recommended it. Now, I had a tough choice to make. I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had been walking a particularly rough road myself, and my loving Father had repeatedly proved His faithfulness. But it all started with an honest, tragic confession. Could I tell her? Or should I just advertise the book by giving her a summary? It wouldn’t necessarily be a complete answer to her question, but couldn’t the book have merit on its own, without my personal testimony as endorsement? I wavered. She persisted. I blurted it out, “I realized I hated myself, and this book changed my life.” Now, I could tell you the name of the book¹, but I would rather tell you about the One the book pointed me to.

Only my Father could have brought me to a place of honest confession, started His healing there, and then put me in a vulnerable position to share it. This is how He works among His people. This is evidence of His gentle Shepherding. My precious reader, we must be honest with one another. And we must respect the process of our treasured Savior and His Spirit while also respecting one another. I had no idea if my friend would even be able to relate to what I was saying, but I had grown in my trust and faith in my Father because of His good gifts and I knew Him well enough to know He was prompting me to speak. Coming out of a season of intense rejection and abandonment, I could have taken this conversation as a “test”, but my Father had been working to show me my acceptance, completeness and chosen status as His Beloved. His primary means was the mirror of His Word.

Process not formula

How is He working with you? With me, He works in building themes. And He goes His own route. It can seem like a winding road at times, and other times, it seems a very direct path. However, He speaks through His Word, songs, nature, other people, billboards, books, and anything else He desires. He makes me laugh, and He repeats Himself. A lot. When I read back through journals or old Bibles, I can follow the theme-building, and then eventually, it’s like an aha! moment where I just get it. This is revelation. He begins His work in my mind, then, it’s like He just opens the rest of me and drops the truth in there, too. I can effectively agree with my whole being. There’s no more wrestling between experience and knowledge, it has become wisdom. Body, soul, and spirit align to the truth. These moments can be fleeting, but they are real. How does He work with you? Have you had time to discern His unique process?

I’m asking, because I am concerned that so much of our lives are spent looking for a formula. Or maybe 12 steps. Or maybe the right timing, the perfect set of disciplines and the correct length of prayers. If only we could do ‘it’ in the right way, the results would be guaranteed. And then people would approve of us, see us, recognize us and accept us. My friends, these things should not be. Before we know it, we’ve made our own religion, and we’re back to keeping traditions and rules, and life becomes hard and complicated, and worst of all, the abundant life slips away and we’re back to the drudgery of life on our terms. When you come to Christ and He comes to you, you receive His Spirit and His yoke, and you are approved, seen, recognized and accepted by the Ruler of the Universe. You receive the rest your soul desires and needs, and you are free.

Abundant life

My question for over a decade was “Where is the abundant life Jesus talked about?” And while He was slow in answering, according to my timeline, He knew exactly the foundation He was building. He knew that I didn’t want easy, trite, cliche’ answers. I needed to know with every fiber of my being that what He was teaching was truth. And, He NEVER disappoints. And so standing in 2022, looking in the mirror, crying at the realization that I hated myself, He had provided the exact foundation that I could sink into. It wasn’t the end; that confession was the beginning. The Shannon I hated was the dead Shannon. I kept trying to keep her alive; to resurrect her according to all the knowledge, the steps, the disciplines, the performance formula! When I became worn out from trying all the things, my loving Father was still there. The God of old is my dwelling place, and underneath are His everlasting arms. He could then show me the way to His life. Letting the old Shannon go, and allowing His Spirit, in the new Shannon, to live the life. This is liberating. However, the grave clothes had to be dealt with. One main area was that of shame. When I hate myself, I live in shame. And shame is a terrible weapon in the hand of our enemy. It keeps me focused on me. And so my Father continued His work. He sparked new themes, and continued to weave His truth in and around and through me.

Which brings me to today. In this week, I have been confronted again by a very broken, fallen, diseased and chaotic world. There are absolutely NO formulas that work. Not in any relationship. There is sadness, grief, hatred, and death. This world will hate you, just as it hated Christ. And so, the going can get tough. I am tempted to slip back into formulas and self-protection. I’ve had a headache for 6 days. I could feel my head pounding in the night, even while I tried to sleep. (I always wonder if Jesus suffered from a headache.) Today, I got to the place where it just hurt to think. I couldn’t find relief. While I was locking the front door for the evening, I heard His voice ask me if I could just come for a walk. I put on my shoes, and walked out the front door, into the cool of evening. I walked. I didn’t say anything for a bit, just looked around. On my 5th, and what I thought would be final lap, I thanked Him for the invitation. I praised Him for His protection. I laughed in delight at walking with Him in the cool of the evening. That’s when I heard the rustling in the treetops. Was it the same army He sent to destroy the Philistines? The wind on my face made me realize my headache was gone and He had shown me a taste of the abundant life. The abundant life is found in Him, in His Presence.

If I am going to listen to any voice, it will be His. I am already accepted, and He has made me complete. I will fix my gaze on Jesus, and learn from Him. I will walk in His ways, and His burden then will be easy and light. I will realize I am gentle and lowly because it is Him in me. Nothing can separate me from His love. And when I confess more of the ugly, tragic things that He unearths in me, it is for my good. The good work He started, He will finish. And I can trust in Him because He is faithful. This is your call to come with me. Stop the things. Look at Jesus. Learn from Him, listen to Him and realize He lives in you. We really are going to look different to this crazy world. We may draw their hate and their contempt. However, when I read of the life of my Savior, they did it to Him, first. He walked that hard road of suffering to secure my salvation: ME! I will honor His life by giving Him mine, and I won’t be surprised at these fiery trials. And so, will you listen for His invitation to you? It may not sound earth shattering, but in answering Him with a yes, could it be that being with Him will be better than anything this world could offer?

Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror. Be honest with your Creator. He loves you more than you know, but He really wants you to know. His Son’s death secures your life with His resurrection. It is a glorious truth, and we will have eternity to soak it up. For now, listen for His invitations, and willingly answer Him. This is the rhythm of walking in the Spirit, living the abundant life.

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¹The book I am referencing here is The Rest of The Gospel: When the partial Gospel has worn you out by Dan Stone and Greg Smith