Prayer for wisdom
It is a challenge to walk through this life. Just when I think I’ve hit upon a rhythm, something happens to remind me of my true center. Thankfully, my Father sends His truth along with these disruptions, obstacles, hiccups or detours…whatever you want to name the trials. I can rejoice in the Lord always, give thanks in every circumstance, pray for wisdom and count it all joy when I encounter trials. These are not things I would necessarily blab or quote to a hurting soul, and I am also learning to be gentle with myself. I think our Biblical responses can be too glib for hurting people, including ourselves when we hurt. I am also aware that practicing these things become a window where others can watch and see faith in action.
Since my Father is revealing Himself to me, He has also shown me incredible truth about myself. While He will never change, and He is constant through all time, I occupy a rare and specific space right now. In relation to my oldest son, The Pioneer, I am walking this specific road with him for the first and only time. There are plenty of other mothers out there who have walked with their oldest children down this general road. I am not alone in the sense that I will be the only one to experience heartaches or growing pains while raising a son, but there is also not this exact combination to ever occur again. Since this is true, my Father becomes the best source of comfort, since His word can generally and specifically address me here in my space.
I mentioned above the general responses to hard times found in the Scriptures. Also, I’m thankful His Word can be as precise as a surgical instrument to separate me into parts, addressing everything He needs. I think my desperation continues to grow the further in I go. It’s like I’m afraid to be left to my own devices, and I can feel the roots of trust growing deeper in the soil of faith and grace.
Here’s an approximation of a prayer I prayed today, as I was looking for the solution to a particular struggle with math and The Pioneer.
Father, you see him and I’m thankful you know Him. Show me what you see, and help me to help him. Where can I sow the peaceable fruit of righteousness in wisdom1? Do I address him head on, ignore it, pray for him further, ask his dad for help?
Pause
The Pioneer is exactly that. The one to go first. The trailblazer. Independent. Strong. Possible perfectionist.
Pause
You made me a pioneer. And although I can generally relate to my son, we are separate and different people. You specifically made me his mother, and he my son.
Grades are not the important measure. In fact, I can’t be the one to measure what’s truly important. It’s the attitude, how he tries, and what he’s telling himself while he attempts math. This is not humanly quantifiable. Give me a window to see.
Lord, remind me about Yourself. Ah, yes. You’re a shield. I read that this morning, and I can imagine a door inside this shield that I can simply open and step into and it closes and I am then encased and enclosed on all sides by You. Nothing can touch me when I’m here, and if fiery darts do happen to make it through, I am certain it is for my benefit, not because of a failure on Your part.
How does this image of a shield translate to my oldest’s struggle with math today?
Wisdom from above, Lord, reflecting Yourself, and practically applicable to the problem at hand. Grant it to me, Lord, I pray.
The answer comes
After my prayer, I make my way downstairs. My husband comes up for lunch, and yet there are a few minutes still left in preparation. We send the siblings from the room, and call The Pioneer. He sits, and I begin, softly, not looking at him directly. He listens. He’s open, I can tell.
Then, the connection. The door that goes into the room where he struggles with math. This door is a physical reminder. I tell him about my ideas of the Lord as a shield with a door. He smiles. We make a plan, and then he gets up from the table to tackle math again. I hold my breath, giving a prayer of thanks. I hear him pause at the door. I breathe out giving another prayer of thanks along with rejoicing.
My Father is faithful. To me. To Himself. To all His children.
Amen.
- Proverbs 3 and James 3 are excellent references when searching for wisdom ↩︎
